I wish I could post links for this outfit, but everything, except for the shoes, came from a thrift store! Even the belt! I love, love, love a good thrift store shopping day. I feel relaxed and calm sifting through the rows and rows of used clothing. I think it’s like a time capsule. People’s memories have been discarded (for good reason) and are now waiting for their next adventure in some other person’s wardrobe. I love it, its my thing.
I found this outfit gem very recently due to a much needed stress relief from a bitter “season” of life. Yes, bitterness is a choice. And yes, i’m choosing bitterness. Just for now. My mom has told me for many years that “bitterness is a choice”. She has an amazing ability to forgive, and love unconditionally. I want to be more like her. I wish my heart was as pure as her heart is. And I will strive for that. But, for now, I will be bitter.
I’ve noticed, especially in the past couple of years, I have the cut-throat mentality to cut ties, and cut emotion out of situations very easily. Is this good or bad? I don’t know. I’m one of those girls who will delete numbers just so I won’t be able to text someone first after a fight. Recently, me and my fiance had a disagreement and I refused to make the first move. I think he underestimated how stubborn I can be in a fight. This isn’t a quality I’m proud of. I think it would be lovely to be one those women who always take the high road. I want to see each situation in my life through rose colored glasses. I want a heart that is more forgiving. However, I think this type of thinking takes practice and work. I honestly believe this is a skill that will have to be tended to until it’s made right. Like building muscle. I’m going to have to “work out” my heart muscle until it’s shaped up.
I never think it’s okay for anyone to be a doormat. And I don’t want to be taken advantage of. So, where is the line? Where is the line between being bitter and staying bitter (for good reasons) or letting go and allowing the person who has wronged you back in your life? I certainly don’t know. Recently, a very dear friend lost my trust completely. I confided in her, and very soon realized she simply did not care about my feelings or trust, but only wanted to “stir the pot”. I wrote her a text explaining our friendship was over, deleted her facebook, and blocked her on my iphone. Is this harsh? Or a good way to keep toxic people out my life? I feel like this was the right thing to do, so maybe this type of bitterness is okay I don’t want people who have bad intentions in my life, but I also want to practice being less bitter. So where do we draw the line? Who do we forgive? Who do we not? Is bitterness ever a a good choice?